Pure As Soil

I have eaten
the plums
that were in
the icebox

and which
you were probably
saving
for breakfast

Forgive me
there were delicious
so sweet
and so cold

At ten I wanted fame. I had a comb
And two coke bottles, a tube of Bryl-creem.
I borrowed a dog, one with
Mismatched eyes and a happy tongue,
And wanted to prove I was tough
In the alley kicking over trash cans,
A dull chime of tuna cans falling.
I hurled light bulbs like grenades,
And men teachers held their heads,
Fingers of blood lengthening,
On the ground. I flicked rocks at cats,
Their goofy faces spurred with foxtails,
I kicked fences. I shooed pigeons.
I broke a branch from a flowering peach
And frightened ants with a stream of spit.
I said "Chale," "In your face," and "No way
Daddy-O" to an imaginary priest
Until grandma came into the alley
Her apron flapping in a breeze,
Her hair mussed, and said, " Let me help you,"
And punched me between the eyes.

In the middle of a busy day,
I see you walking toward me,
And I spare you a fleeting glance.
In that second everything happens.
A year of love passes before my eyes.
Kisses, whispers, laughter.

I
remember
it
all.

Your footsteps fade behind me.
Empty now, I walk on.

In a book, whose title I don't remember, by L. Alcott I once read about a boy who became famous with the help of the devil by publishing a book of poems. But the devil told him his poems of love were incomplete. It was obvious he had never been in love. These are my desperate attempts at capturing the terrible, beautiful, devastating thing that is letting someone in your heart.

Love and Truth

Dread underlies my love,
Because I am afraid.
Place a dam inside,
Blocking off my heart,
The flood overtakes it all.

And I know
Hurt will swim
And I will bleed

There is not a barricade
Not even denial
That will be able to stop
This awful pain of trust

So I love you.
And I wait for devastation.

I came home and saw his letter,
Written on old blue lined paper.
Careful words covered more than half.
Dazed I drifted through unchanged rooms.
All our things were still there.
Only the keys and his clothes were gone.

Good bye.

This leaving hurts.
As can be told by the falling,
Falling,
Falling,
Of tears.

Comfort found through smiles,
And knowing,
That nothing can break forever.
Not distance.
Not trials.
Not years.